Sam films him the entire time they’re shopping, then makes an incredibly popular youtube video called “Old Man Yells at Food”. Popular quotes include:
"Quinoa. How the fuck do you pronounce this?"
"Marshmallow fluff in a jar. I’ve seen everything now. What do you even put this on? It doesn’t matter, it’s going on everything."
"Baconnaise. I can’t decide if this is the exact opposite of what I died for, or the perfect example of it."
"I’m going to live in this cheese aisle for the rest of my life."
"Sometimes I feel like you don’t appreciate granola properly."
"Wait, I’m confused, is yogurt a desert now or not?"
"It’s HOW MUCH??"
"Everything’s ‘instant’ now, instant coffee, instant soup, instant noodles. That has to be false advertising."
"Sam, seriously, I think these price tags have to be wrong."
"Mini bagel pizzas. This is heaven, isn’t it? I died and God- uh, Thor’s dad or somebody felt sorry for me so they let me into heaven."